Breaking Free from the 'Shoulds' of Financial Planning

Creating money goals that honor your wisdom and your spreadsheets

Dec 18, 2024

Now that we’re only a week away from Christmas, my brain is starting to think about that weird week between Christmas and New Year’s when we kind of lose track of what day it is (or is that just me?) and what I want for myself in the New Year.

I’m planning some downtime (possibly a massage), cleaning up from the holidays, and starting to do a little planning.

I don’t use anything complicated when I do planning.

A simple notebook, some colored pens, and time dedicated to personal and business. And the category that overlaps both, of course, is money.

I've been thinking a lot about how we approach financial planning, especially as women.

Here's the thing - all those traditional systems we've inherited?

Men created them.

And while there's nothing inherently wrong with that, it's a bit like trying to write with your non-dominant hand just because someone told you that's the "right" way.

Last week, we talked about trusting our financial intuition (and wow, did that resonate with many of you!).

But here's what I want to emphasize: it's not about choosing between intuition OR traditional planning. It's about creating something that honors both.

Think about it - how often have you tried to force yourself into someone else's money management style? Maybe it was that budgeting app everyone swore by or that planning system that looked perfect on paper but made you want to throw your laptop out the window.

That disconnect isn't a sign you're doing it wrong.

It's actually your inner wisdom tapping you on the shoulder, saying, "Hey, there might be a better way for us."

I learned this lesson the hard way.

For years, I thought being "good with money" meant following every traditional financial rule to the letter.

You know what happened? Nothing.

Because I was so busy trying to follow someone else's roadmap, I wasn't creating my own.

True financial empowerment isn't about forcing yourself into an existing system - it's about creating one that works with your natural rhythms.
(And if a traditional tool or plan works for you, hats off!).

Sometimes, that means taking your financial planning outside (because who says you can't review your investments while walking in nature?). Sometimes, it means combining meditation with money management. Maybe it’s doodling your thoughts and processes.🖍

The real magic happens when you start trusting yourself enough to create new ways of relating to money - ways that honor both your practical intelligence AND intuition.

Is this about throwing all traditional financial wisdom out the window?

Of course not.

That would be like saying you'll never use a map again just because you don't like the route it suggested once.

Instead, it's about taking what works and leaving what doesn't.

It's about creating a relationship with money that feels as natural as breathing, unlike wearing someone else's ill-fitting clothes.

As we step into 2025, what if we approached our financial planning differently?

What if, instead of forcing ourselves into rigid systems, we created ones that feel good to use?

Let's talk about creating financial goals that don't make you want to run screaming from your computer (because we've all been there, right?).

Here's what I've learned about planning that sticks:

☑ Start With Your Space

Find your thinking spot (mine happens to be my desk with coffee, but you do you)
Get comfortable (and yes, wearing your favorite sweats counts as financial planning attire)
Grab whatever helps you think clearly - journal, laptop, voice notes, whatever works

☑ Get Real With Your Money Story

What's your actual relationship with money right now? (Not what you think it should be)
Where do you feel most confident with money?
Which money "rules" make you roll your eyes? (There might be a reason for that)

☑ Create Your Rhythm

When does your brain work best for money stuff?
What environment helps you think clearly?
Which tools do you use? (There is no point in forcing yourself to use a budgeting app you hate)

☑ Set Goals That Feel True

What does "wealthy" mean in your real, day-to-day life?
How do you want your money to work for you?
What financial moves excite you? (These are usually the ones worth paying attention to)

☑ Make It Happen

Pick ONE thing to tackle this week (because baby steps still move you forward)
Figure out who's got your back (advisor? money buddy? coach?)
Plan regular check-ins with both your numbers AND your gut

☑ Track What Works

Notice when your intuition was spot-on
Pay attention to what feels good AND gets results
Celebrate wins, no matter how small (because progress is progress)

Here's the thing... You get to choose how you want to handle your money.

Just like we talked about last week with intuition - there's no one "right" way to do this.

It’s about self-responsibility and doing what works for you.

Could you force yourself to use every traditional financial planning tool out there?

Sure.

Would some of them probably work?

Probably.

Do you need to?

Nope.

It's kind of like those people who swear by 5 am workouts. Does it work for them? Clearly. Does that mean you need to drag yourself out of bed at 5 am to be successful?

Hell no.

Find YOUR way. Trust YOUR instincts. Create YOUR system.

Because at the end of the day, the best financial plan is the one you'll stick with.

What's one tiny step you could take this week that feels exciting AND doable?

Women You Should Know

Adele Keibre, a University of Chicago PhD

WWII Spy

Adele Keibre, a University of Chicago PhD, was one of America's most successful and unsung spies during World War II. With her sharp intellect and advanced education, she operated in critical intelligence roles, skillfully gathering and analyzing information that significantly contributed to Allied victories. Her ability to navigate high-stakes, covert operations and outwit adversaries made her a vital asset in the war effort. Despite the dangers of espionage, Keibre's courage and resourcefulness paved the way for some of the most strategic intelligence successes of the era, cementing her legacy as a key figure in American wartime history.

Remarkable Women Stories

When I was looking for this week’s “Women You Should Know,” I went to my saved links and pulled Adele from the article “How Librarians Became America’s Greatest Asset in WWII Intelligence” (yes, we still need libraries).

When I did a little more research about her, I found the article I linked to above from this incredible publication:

Subscribe and read

Remarkable Women

on Substack

Visit their website here

A Few Of My Favorite Things 🎶

I’m a huge fan of AI, so I thought I’d share a few of my favorite AI tools this week. Whether you use AI for work, personal, or fun, there’s something for everyone.

*TIP*
My Dad (80 years old) recently had some medical tests done, and I took all the results and asked ChatGPT to explain it to me in layman's terms as if I were a 15-year-old. My Dad was blown away 😉.

*Also*
If you’d be interested in a list of AI personal finance tools, let me know, and I’ll write a separate post on that (soon-ish, after the holidays).

Writing & Ideation: Claude.ai & ChatGPT.com

Research: Perplexity.ai

Images: I’m having a ball with FLUX-AI

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Update: NotebookLM from Google (your AI-powered research assistant that helps you understand complex information from docs, articles, & PDFs, and even YouTube videos). It can also create an audio version between simulated hosts so you can listen instead of read.

Read about NotebookLMs December updates here.

This sums it up 😂

As a heads-up, I’ll send next week’s newsletter a day early (on Tuesday instead of Wednesday) since next Wednesday is Christmas Eve.

I fully intend to take next week off since my daughter comes into town on Sunday, and I plan to enjoy every second with her while she’s here.

Oh, and we’re hosting Christmas dinner with the family here, too, so needless to say, I’ll be busy.

Have a wonderful day,
Kim