The Invisible Labor That Builds Wealth

Rewiring your relationship with money starts from the inside out

I remember when I first started doing “money work” with my therapist.

Looking back now, I can see that what I thought were my “flaws” were simply a lack of knowledge and understanding, both of the inner & outer work required to make peace and create a new/different relationship with money.

At that time, my default question to my therapist was always, “Yes, but what do I do?”

I wanted a list of things to do that I could check off like a grocery list.

You would think that after the hundredth time she told me that wasn’t how it worked, I would have stopped asking—I didn’t 😂 (what can I say, I’m tenacious).

A level of faith and trust is also required when we’re making behavioral changes. We live in such an instant-gratification world that when we’re younger, the thought of sticking with something for a few months before seeing any changes feels like a lifetime.

Now at 54, I find myself saying, “I can’t believe it’s [insert whatever month we’re in] already!”

I’ve slowly fallen in love with the process and who I’m becoming when I’m committed to change.

And here’s what I’ve come to understand:

The work that transforms your financial life isn’t always visible. It doesn’t come with a certificate or a shiny “win” to post about. It’s quieter than that. More subtle. And often deeply personal.

This invisible labor is the work we do in our thoughts, bodies, and beliefs long before we raise our rates, invest confidently, or ask for what we truly deserve.

It’s the internal rewiring that begins when we start challenging the messages we inherited about money—especially the ones we didn’t know we had.

It’s the moment we catch ourselves slipping into an old pattern, and instead of reacting automatically, we pause. We reflect. We choose differently. Even if just slightly.

It’s when we journal not because it’s another “to-do,” but because we want to hear our voice again—beneath the noise of what we should be doing.

It’s when we allow ourselves to feel the discomfort of growth instead of rushing to numb it with busyness, overspending, or avoidance.

And it’s the work of self-trust. Trusting that small shifts matter. That nervous system regulation is a strategy. That a calm decision made from alignment will consistently outperform a frantic one made from fear—even if the results take longer to appear.

This labor doesn’t show up in productivity trackers. But it’s there—whenever you choose to breathe before clicking “buy now.” Whenever you ask yourself, “Whose voice am I hearing in this decision?” instead of pushing it down and powering through.

Neuroscience gives us a powerful frame for this kind of work.

When we experience a money-related trigger—shame, fear, scarcity—it’s often our limbic brain (our emotional center) or even our primitive survival brain (the amygdala) that kicks into gear. These parts of the brain are lightning-fast, designed to keep us safe. They aren’t interested in long-term wealth—they’re just trying to protect us from discomfort.

What interrupts that cycle is awareness.

Noticing our bodily responses—tight chest, shallow breath, clenched jaw—is the first signal that we’re reacting from an old pathway. These neural patterns were often formed early in life, shaped by what we observed and experienced around money. But they’re not permanent.

The practice I return to again and again is what I call a “Money Pause.”
When I feel that internal tension rise—before I open my banking app or make a decision under stress—I stop.

I take a few deep breaths and ask myself three simple questions:

1. What am I feeling in my body right now?

2. What’s the story I’m telling myself about this moment?

3. What would trusting myself look like here?

This 60-second pause might seem small, but over time, it creates new neural pathways, builds a bridge between reaction and response, and teaches the brain that discomfort isn’t danger and that new outcomes are possible.

This is the invisible labor that builds wealth.

Not just financial wealth, but emotional, energetic, and relational wealth. The kind that’s rooted in clarity and self-trust.

So if you find yourself in that quiet, uncertain space—where it feels like nothing is happening, or progress is invisible—know this:

You are in the process.

You’re doing the kind of work that changes everything.

And while it may not feel like much from the outside, something powerful is taking shape on the inside.

A Woman You Should Know

Dr. Thema Bryant

Dr. Thema is a clinical psychologist, ordained minister, and president of the American Psychological Association. She bridges psychology and spirituality in a deeply empowering way, especially for women navigating trauma, identity, and self-worth. Her book Homecoming: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole, Authentic Self is a powerful companion for anyone doing inner healing work.

Money Moves

Create Your Own “Money Pause” Ritual

Before your next financial decision—big or small—try a moment of reflection.
Ask yourself:
• What’s happening in my body?
• What story am I believing right now?
• What would trusting myself look like in this moment?

This is about training your nervous system to pause before reacting—interrupting well-worn patterns and opening space for aligned, conscious choice. It’s a small act that adds up to big shifts.

In case you missed it…

I had a blast last weekend on my first Substack live with

Lisa-Marie Cabrelli, Ph.D.

and

Suzanna Quintana

of

The Totally Awesome After

! The topic? “Women Want to Know: Who Made These Rules?”

Resources

Tool: The “Feelings Wheel” (PDF download)

Sometimes the first step in inner work is learning to name what we feel. This deceptively simple tool is potent when you’re in a “money pause.” It helps build emotional awareness and new neural connections.

A great tactile support for nervous system awareness + emotional literacy.

Check out the free “Feelings Wheel” here

Book: The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk

While not about money specifically, this book is essential for understanding how unprocessed experiences, including financial trauma, live in the body. If money conversations trigger stress responses or shutdown, this book helps explain why… and what healing might look like.

Powerful for readers doing deeper inner work and wanting to understand the somatic layer of money healing.

Get the book here

Meditation: Dr. Joe Dispenza’s Morning/Evening Meditations

If your audience is open to it, these guided meditations (especially the shorter versions) are beautiful tools for regulating the nervous system and creating new emotional set points, which directly support behavior change. They’re not “money meditations” per se, but support wealth-building from the inside out (I’m a HUGE fan of his work).

Perfect if you want to gently introduce your readers to embodiment + manifestation through a neuroscience lens.

Check out his meditations here

Wherever you are in your journey, remember this: the work you’re doing—quietly, consistently, courageously—matters. The shift starts within, but the ripple is real.

With love & abundance,
Kim